By Lien Estrada
HAVANA TIMES – One of my desires is to have access to Amazon and have a PayPal account. So that I can publish my short story books myself and have a way to receive the payments when I sell them, without major inconveniences. Thank God, my book La última duda y otros cuentos published by La orilla oscura is featured by several virtual sites,.
But in the many contests I want to participate in, like in Spain and other Spanish-speaking places, I can’t, because having a PayPal account is required. My first book Se busca otra plaza was published on Amazon, but I had disagreements with my friend who did me the favor, and that’s where the fairytale ended.
Hoping that circumstances might change, I went to Fincimex (the Cuban military corporation GAESA’s financier) to see what alternatives I might have to achieve these aspirations of mine. The lady who attended to me was very kind. I appreciated that because, in Cuba, we’re becoming more and more rude. Some because they might not be able to leave, others because of scarcity and hunger… In short, what we’ve been enduring for years, and it’s only getting worse.
The lady told me no, that what I need and am looking for is not possible. At least not for now. That, at the moment, what the government is considering doing is another magnetic card! “Another?!” I exclaimed. But we already have two: the CUP (Cuban pesos) and the MLC (the magnetic dollar), I told her. Yes, she replied, but now they’re inventing another one (inventing wasn’t the term she used, it’s the one I interpreted). This one will be in dollars, in green dollars. But still, you can’t withdraw the money from the bank; it’s exclusively for buying in other exclusive stores that will sell with these new dollar cards.
I couldn’t believe it. But in my learned helplessness, I told her, yes, I would request such a card because it might help me at some point. Okay, she said. I didn’t tell her I was giving in to the “inventions of a State” that never tires of experimenting to see what might work for them. And so far, nothing has worked for anyone. We’re starting to suspect that it hasn’t worked for them either because soon they won’t be able to endure the disaster they’ve created.
My card arrived. I went to pick it up. I thanked the lady for her kindness, but I still haven’t thanked the “service of this State.” Because the card I want, the one I need, my PayPal account is still inaccessible to me for the moment. Amazon is a world that is closed off to me. I can access it through friends in Canada, Mexico, or any other country, but not from the prison island where I reside, that spans an entire nation that still doesn’t know how to free itself from the burdens of the past and rebuild itself.
Of course, having self-esteem or self-love under these conditions is very difficult. You have to make a double effort. A triple even. If we’re not careful, we do nothing. Still, praying to God, I am writing my third book of stories. We must not allow ourselves to kill all hope.
Perhaps one day, the Communist Party that is leading this country’s disaster will leave, and I will finally have my account, like I’m sure everyone else in a free country has access to, and I’ll be able to publish my books on Amazon like any person who likes to tell stories.
For the Greeks, hope was a curse. For Christianity, it is a value. Thank God, I am Christian. Because to endure this country, Christianity does a lot of good.
Read more from the diary of Lien Estrada here.
